January 20, 2010 by Sandy
Kids should help with the family cleaning
Repetition…Consistency and Follow up.
I had someone ask how to “get” your child to do their chores, or more specifically the morning routine chores I had posted yesterday. To me it is very simple and there may be many who don’t like my blunt answer. But here it is in simple terms, YOU ARE THE PARENT, THEY ARE THE CHILD. Do not let them make the rules. Do not ask them if they “want to” do something. What do you say if they say no? If you want to give them choices, then say, ” Would you rather carry up the laundry baskets or take out the trash to the trash cans?”
Do I think kids should have jobs? Heck YES!
You are the one who is in charge, not them. ”No” is not an option when you ask them to do a job or help in the house. If I ask one of the children to do something and they would say no, my immediate response would probably be, “ExCUSE me?”
THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES FOR THEIR ACTIONS – What if they say No or won’t do them?
If they are given a list of 2 or 3 jobs to do during the day during the summer when they are off school and they do not complete their jobs that day…guess what? They get those same jobs the next day AND 2 or 3 new ones.
They are not going to get friend time, or TV time, or computer time if they don’t get their jobs done first.
I have had my share of discipline problems with my children. Especially my 4 oldest boys. Three of my 4 boys have ADHD. I don’t use that as any excuse and I don’t let them use it as an excuse to get away with anything. It doesn’t change a thing I expect of them and that they are capable of.
In a grocery store. (Don’t kids always act up there? ) when I first met my now husband the triplets were 3 1/2 years old. From the time I met them I never accepted that they ran all over the store. If they went to the store with me they learned quickly that they stayed right with me and they kept their hands off things. So how did I get them to do that?
1) I give them assignments. They got to take turns picking the items off the shelf when I needed them. (ages 3) If they weren’t behaving, they sat in the cart front seat.
2) They got their own shopping lists and had to sound out the words on their list. (ages 5)
3) They get their own cart or basket with their own list and help figure out which is the better deal: The gallon of milk for $2.50 or the 2 half gallon bottles of milk on sale for .99 each. (ages eight and older)
AND IF THEY STILL WON’T OBEY
If they don’t behave they sit in the cart (ages 3) or have to hang onto the side of the cart (too old to sit in cart).
I also have a point system while out and about. 1 point for poor behavior. That point can be redeemed at home (but don’t forget!) It can be lose of computer time, or TV time. 1 point = 10 minutes. It can be 1 point = 1 extra chore (cleaning up dog poo outside in the yard). It can be time in their room when they get home. 1 point = 10 minutes.
When my 4 older boys were young 1 point = 1 spanking when we got home. But they can also LOSE their points for good behavior. If they were misbehaving in the store I would calming say, “Joe, you just earned 1 point”. That is usually all it took, then he worked the rest of the time to lose that point. But I did make sure that I did not give in after we left that store. He he earned and did not lose 2 points in the store..when we got home he DID get his 2 spankings. But guess what, I didn’t have very many problems in a grocery store with 4 boys under the age of 12 (3 of which had ADHD)
DO NOT MAKE IDLE THREATS
Your kids will learn real fast that if you threaten to punish them, but never follow through….they won’t listen. Why should they?
With my step kids now, I don’t spank them. If I have to discipline in the store, which I usually don’t…making them hang onto the cart and not get to help by picking out or helping shop is enough that they settle down real fast.
I also used and still do use the 1…2…3. But if I said the number 3…then there was discipline. I used it more for my older boys. It worked.
CHORE BOARD
I have a job board that we use. These jobs are on top of their daily tasks such as cleaning their room, getting dressed etc.
A job board can be made easily. (click on picture for post on making one)
This chores rotate weekly. I don’t think any age (even toddlers) are too young to start with picture job boards and helping put toys in a basket. You can make it a game or use songs to help. With the older kids, make a cleaning bucket for them to use.
This might sound strict to you and if what you are doing is working for you and your family – then wonderful, keep doing it. But if you are having problems getting your children to help or do as you ask them, you might want to give my suggestions a try. I am not a mean mom, but I am a firm mom and my children DO listen to me. I believe that as the parent it is Our job to teach our children right from wrong and teach them the value of being a family member and part of a team.
Repetition…Consistency and Follow up.
Be consistent in what jobs the kids do each morning and after school.
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat….they will learn the routine.
Follow up to see if they did what was expected.
Disclaimer – I am not telling anyone to spank their child. I am stating that I did use spanking with my older 4 boys when they were young as a form of punishment for inappropriate or harmful behavior. This is my own opinion and I am entitled to it. I make no apologies for it and I think my grown sons would agree that I did a pretty good job of raising them. I in NO way ever abused my sons and feel it is silly that I even feel I have to add in this disclaimer.
If you Enjoyed this, then please Share :
Filed Under: Blog
Tagged: children, chore board, chores, cleaning bucket, consistency, discipline, follow up, job board, jobs, kids, morning routine, repetition, spanking
